The legend lives on
Johnny Two Kebabs
What would you do if someone stole your jocks?
Enter your email below to be added to Johnny's newsletter
Ebook now available
Check out these other titles by Johnny
All titles available on main retailers
The Two Kebabs Trilogy
Embark on a thrilling journey through the memoirs of Johnny Two Kebabs, the legendary 'conscious vigilante,' in this gripping trilogy of novellas.In the first instalment, "From Russia With Chilli And Garlic Sauce," Johnny uncovers a sinister plot involving a Russian assassination. As he delves deep into the conspiracy, he must navigate a treacherous web of lies and deceit.In the second novella, "How I Found The G Spot," Johnny takes on a different kind of challenge as he investigates the enigmatic conspiracy group known as G-Nome. Along the way, Johnny's own vulnerabilities come to light, revealing the complex layers beneath his valiant facade.Finally, in the third story, "The Mixed Doner Murders," Johnny tackles his most perplexing case yet. As a series of gruesome murders shocks the city, he must unravel the twisted motives behind the notorious 'Mixed Doner Murderer.' With lives hanging in the balance, Johnny's unwavering determination and sharp instincts are put to the ultimate test.These memoirs delve into the depths of Johnny Two Kebabs' psyche. Discover his unique 'philosophy' and the unwavering 'ethical' code that guides his every move.
A Very Maggie Christmas
The strangest episode of Johnny’s adventures so far sees him confronted by the ghost of Margaret Thatcher and the mysterious death of one of his acquaintances. His investigations of an esoteric and well-being convention lead him to attend some therapy sessions where he is surprised at the expertise of some of the therapists. But he becomes convinced that one of them is, in fact, a brutal murderer. Will Maggie help or hinder the investigation? Will Johnny be persuaded to embrace Neo-liberal politics? How much does Johnny cost His Majesty’s treasury each year? These questions are explored in these latest nail-biting memoirs of Johnny Two Kebabs.
The Second Trilogy Of Johnny Two kebabs
Journey through these memoirs with Johnny as he describes a world fraught with danger, mystery and questionable hygiene. With each page, he draws us deeper into his enigmatic realm as the truth behind each tale is unveiled.Setting the stage for the three novellas in this collection, "The Prequel" chronicles his astonishing rise to fame. How, during an unforgettable contest at Achmed's kebab shop in south London, he achieved notoriety by devouring two doner kebabs in a jaw-dropping one minute and fifty-nine seconds, after already having downed thirteen pints of lager.
Next, his courage and resourcefulness are put to the test when he becomes entangled in an investigation into the murder of a Conservative MP, during which, he uncovers a sinister terrorist plot by a Cornish separatist group which propels him into a race against time to thwart a devastating attack.
Finally, his strangest investigation yet leads him into the eccentric realm of alternative therapies. He comes face to face with the ghost of a former British prime minister, and together they must unravel the mystery of a series of brutal murders.
In these pages, the 'conscious vigilante' opens up in a way he has never done before about realising the true power of the human spirit. He reveals what drives him and how his philosophy underpins his determination to vanquish evil. Brace yourself as you join Johnny Two Kebabs while he metes out justice on the mean streets of south London.
How it all began
Johnny Two Kebabs - The Prequel
The Prequel
Download the free ebook on kobo.com
On 15th June 2011, an extraordinary event took place in Brixton, south London. On that day, an Irishman devoured two doner kebabs in a mere 1 minute and 59 seconds. What made this feat even more remarkable was the fact that he had already indulged in 13 pints of lager. Now, in a riveting account, the true story of the events leading up to this accomplishment is recounted by the protagonist, 'Johnny Two Kebabs.'
In this 'prequel' Johnny invites us into his world. Learn how he came to be known, among other things, as the 'conscious vigilante.' This is not just the tale of a gastronomic achievement. It is the story of a man, fuelled by a fervent sense of justice, tracking down and bringing to justice a dangerous armed robber. This is the story of Johnny Two Kebabs.